Saturday, May 28, 2011


A dumb dog is a more faithful follower than a discerning disciple!

Friday, May 27, 2011


D/Dx of ( x) = 0,

where x  =  2008 to 2011.

and x stands for Learning Variable. 


He who thinks sinks!


Too much rest causes unrest. 

Thursday, May 26, 2011


Resistance is better than repentance. 

Monday, May 9, 2011

emperor or prince?

you cannot be an emperor when you aim to be a prince!

Saturday, May 7, 2011


Equilibrium is when the probability of occurrence of same events is constant throughout a given time period.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Peculiarities about people in Mumbai

Mumbai is such an interesting city, that one offhand post isn't enough.

Let me throw some highlights on the people in Mumbai:

Definition: People in Mumbai are people who do not react to things that other people in other cities react to. E.g. traffic, travel distance, crowd, time , heat, rain, floods and local trains.

Types of people in Mumbai:

A) The SoBo crowd: This is the elite crowd. People from this strata live in the coveted part of the city called South Mumbai and have a cosmopolitan life. Mostly hailing from top notch MBA or likewise schools, They are head honchos in large corporates or owners of their own company. They are majorly English speaking, hardly speak Hindi and wear international attire. They work hard and party hard. Their hobbies are theatre, classy English cinema, English Music or French cinema, art exhibitions, music soirees, concerts and page 3 events, which are more of charitable or social kinds.This crowd is of mixed origin, South indians, Parsees, Goan, and a few Maharashtrians and other communities of India. This is a crowd with its own trends and is generally oblivious of certain realities of the lesser society of Mumbai.

Peculiarities of this crowd:

1) Neutral accent

2) International holidays

3) Expensive spas for stress relief.

4) Favourite haunts are Blue Frog, Hard Rock Cafe and Jazz by the Bay (tHEY used to play jazz there) and occasionally Hawaiin Shack or Zenzi ( the lower parel one) .

5) House parties as they have well done up houses.

6) Lot of open, frank behaviour between men and women.

7) Generally genuine natures as they are exposed to nicer things/ people in life.

8) Expensive hobbies like photography or art.

90 Classy taste in furniture attire.

B) The 'Wanna Be's: This is the bourgoeuis of Mumbai. It's a crowd hailing from simple middle class origins but fast gaining western lifestyles due to exposure to international culture through work and mall culture. It's mainly scattered all over the fast growing suburbs, kick started with the bpos 2 decades back and is essentially educated from second rung mba schools than iims and generally carreer focused.

It apes the SoBo crowd as they are the lifestyle benchmarks for them . But somewhere down the line its a confused crowd. This sense of confusion is reflected right from dressing to food habits as they are in an Indo western trap and often may exhibit poor table manners or grooming knowledge due to lack of exposure and also trying to adapt to sudden western culture, not used to from childhood. This crowd is full of relocaters and local Mumbaiites often hailing from small one bedroom pigeonhole families to proudly stand on one's feet and spearhead the family by buying a house in the suburbs and ensuring a decent lifestyle.


1) They have an in-between look between modern and indian.

2) Women in capris

3) Sunday mall culture.

4) Big family of 2 generations doing things together.

5) Women car drivers.

6) Intelligent men and women.

7) Growing divorce rates.

8) Favourite haunts are multi plex and malls.

9) Taste in furniture ranging from good to cluttered, and sometimes gaudy.

C) The Mumbaiiya Mumbaiites: They hail from outskirts of the city which are not in Mumbai but nevertheless struggling in concept to be Mumbai. This crowd has certain distinguishable peculiarities:

1) They are dressed in synthetic clothes.

2) The men wear checked shirts often with colours ranging from pink to onion colour.

3) They are local train savvy.

4) They are chartered bus savvy.

5) They entertain themselves in the modes of transport by cracking loud Mumbaiiya jokes with harmless innuendos, playing card games, and eating group snacks of the Mumbaiiya category which the SoBo guy wouldn't touch with a bargepole. (vada pau, samosa pau, dabeli, dhokla.).

6) Use slang like kantaal agaya- means bored, pagaar- means salary, dhakkan- means dimwit or fool, mamu banaya- means making a fool out of.

7) The women are a curse on the name of grooming. Dark lipstick, latest hairstyles done in cheap salons such that the result is a disaster, lycra churidaars bought from station markets, high heels with crooked walks, sindoor and mangal sutra with western attire,tight pants showing underwear lines and saree when worn, with blouses with weird designs at the back showing unbleached backs.

8) Common form of greeting is blinking the eyes with a smile and common form of asking someone to move out of the way is by making a kissing like noise, which would shock any visitor to the city!

9) This crowd is low on culture content but blissfully unaware of it. The main highs are national tv shows on Bollywood dances and songs and of course saas bahu serial and Hindi films.

10) Furniture is mainly faux Godrej steel almirahs and ugly dual purpose sofa cum beds. 

Thursday, May 5, 2011

The art of being shameless

Definition of "shameless':  " An adverb which means a quality possessed by people, which makes them see through and accept others' taunts and jibes without batting an eyelid."

Characteristics of shameless people:

1) They primarily belong to the loser category described earlier
2) They have half baked knowledge of things but nevertheless, want to take part and show off with their  knowledge as there is no risk of being discovered, as they are shameless.
3) They do not understand the jibes and pokes that come from people and sometimes pretend not to understand. That's why they are shameless.
4) They want to throw big ideas, but often when questioned about the topic remain clueless, but nevertheless, they carry on with the same techniques. It's because they are shameless.
5) They have the unique advantage of getting away with anything as any which ways very few reactions very few reactions affect them.They do not experience shame unlike normal people.
6) They are stress free as most stress factors stem from anticipated public negative reactions.
7) They usually behave in a pompous manner and talk a lot as remaining silent will leave them with their own realisations.They do not want to admit the public taunts and go on pretending that all is well.
8) They take part in baseless conversations.
9) They are occasion savers as when there isnt anybody to talk to, the shameless ones will always be there, whether you have behaved well with them or not.
10) Finally, they are great assets to organisation and, because bosses and subordinates both can ill treat them without fear of retaliation! They are great assets to the family for similar reasons.

Types of shameless people.:

A) People who are "somepeople" because of somepeople: These kind of people have usually arrived at whatever point in life/ work that they have, because of the clout or efforts of some other people and usually have no option but to be shameless, as they have to onever blige a lot and no disagreement is accepted from them.
They take shit with an open smile and think taking shit is their birthright.These types are found hanging around their bosses as yes men in the workplace and around their relatives / inlaws in the same role, in the family. they have never got respect in life and in case anybody gives them respect, usually in the initially few meetings, they cannot handle it and glow and gibber like anything!

B) Lonely people who are lonely because noone befriends them due to certain inadequacies: These people are clingers. They usually are self drivers but can drive themselves only to a certain extent, due to sheer lack of class, personality and competence. They are usually rude, shabby and unhygienic, for which they aren't welcome into anyone's company. As a result, they cling to whoever they see and gatecrash into people's groups. Because of being primarily people seeking but lonely due to lack of company, they cling to anybody and everybody. They take any shit and any kind of behaviour and pretend not to notice the shameful taunts.

That's shameless for you!

Eagle and Kiwi

An Eagle cannot pretend to be a Kiwi for long!

Monday, May 2, 2011


Definition: A big Indian Metropolis which is so filled with buildings, people, cars and pollution that there isnt any space for everyone but still there's space for everyone and everything!
If thats too complicated, please read on:
Ask any Delhiite ( or similar other "unmumbai" city person) and he will say that Mumbai is a living hell, an urban disaster! Ask any long standing( 3 years down in the city) Mumbaiite and he will swear by the city!

Some characteristics about the city:

1) Traffic: This is a constant with the city and anything from interviews to marriages are pardoned if you give stuck in traffic as an excuse!

2) Road construction: Another constant.Ever since eternity, Mumbai's roads are getting made, so that there's lots of earth and filth everywhere next to swanky cars honking angrily away at other cars or pedestrians or just nothing!

3) Rains:A Constant every monsoon. One shower and you get stuck for hours and may even be floating for hours of course in murky water with other garbage spillages! Another thing which is heavily pardoned in the city!

4) People: Wherever you go you see people. Hoards of them.Constantly!

5) House rents/ prices: Unbelievably high prices for pitifully small spaces. If you have a two bedroom house you are a king and if you have a balcony to add, you are an emperor!

6) Crowded local trains: So crowded that if you get to sit, its fishy!

If Mumbai is so bad, why do people come here?
Why Mumbai ticks:

1) Its an "objective oriented" city. People are moving from one place to another for some work. Noone has time to waste. Being a very big city travelling is a huge thing and getting to and back from wherever you wanted to go is the most focused thing. So ordinary people do not have time to accomodate other things into their agenda!

2) People actually make queues here for everything!

3) There is order in the chaos, method in the madness.

4) People are not too nosey, for the sheer lack of time. They never get around to finishing their own jobs, so there isnt time to delve into someone else's problems.

5) People are exhausted most of the time by the constant traffic and long travel and bad roads, so much so that they have no time to focus on being really bad.

6) Cosmopolitan crowd: General tendency and exposure to a mixed crowd makes people more acceptable towards cultures.

Peculiarities about Mumbai:

1) Vada Pau
2) Misal pau
3) Long distances perceived to be "baju mein" or nearby.
4) Local trains
5) Filth
6) Ditches
7) Drains with clogged water
8) Drains with clogged water near swanky upmarket looking complexes
9) People completely ok with living in beautiful apartments overlooking or neighboured with dirty slums.
10) People ok with dipping their feet into dirty, murky rain water with loads of curious looking stuff floating in it.
11) People asking you " you aren't from Mumbai?" if there's something alien about you, but then accomodating you as you are nevertheless!
12) Absolutely no parking space
13) Policemen glaring at you like you asked something strange if you ask where to park your car!
14) Buildings, buildings, buildings!
15) Everyone in a "train / bus catching" mood. 6:15 local, 6: 15 dadar etc.
16) Mumbaiites calling themselves Mumbaiites and proud of it!
17) Clueless about the workings of other cities in India
18) Benchmarks, jokes, problems are all Mumbai oriented unlike other cities where discussions are more globalised!
19) Autorickshaws
20) Cabs (good old  kala-pilas i.e. black and yellow fiats, cool cabs etc etc)